Slowdown-hit techies benched by brides-to-be

First grounded by the slowdown, now by prospective brides. Indian techies in the United States are cooling their heels at the bench not just at recruitment and consulting firms, but also at marriage bureaux.

"NRI matches are not getting much preference. Majority of the techies, who have gone there after doing short term courses, are being looked upon with suspicion by brides and their parents. Only those with a sound technical background, working in very good companies, are being selected, if at all," says Mr Ch Balaswamy of Sukheebhava marriage bureau.

"Earlier even a graduate girl's family used to ask and go blindly for a US-based Indian techies. But now, at least 50 per cent of bride's families are not willing to go for an alliance in the US," he adds.

What's more. The dowry rates too have fallen by as much as 50 to 70 per cent. And one person's loss is another's gain, so techies in the US are losing out to their counterparts here, matchmakers say.

"Because of the slowdown, the software professionals here are now more in demand. Parents of brides are more reluctant to send their daughters abroad, and approach it cautiously. But, then the demand has come down by only 5 per cent," Mrs Vanaja Rao of Alankrita told ET.

"Of the 18,000 cases in my database, 60 per cent are grooms, and 40 percent brides. Of the grooms, 45 per cent are NRIs. Their cases are moving less faster than earlier. There is a slowdown in success rate by 10 percent. Earlier it was a blind rush. Now they check for complete company and residence telephone numbers and addresses there, and even on relatives both in India and the US. Now enquiring by the bride's family has come into full force. Ten per cent of bride's families have totally stopped asking for US matches," she adds.

The matchmakers say the situation has reversed the rules of the game. Brides have become more demanding, and it's they who have the choice and dictate the terms, they say.

"Earlier guys were demanding, but girls are calling the shots, especially if they have good computer-related qualifications. Because of greater choice, qualified girls are asking questions and checking out the guy's salaries, company, work profile etc.," Mrs Rao says.

Agrees Mr Venugopal Reddy of Vaishnavi: "Brides are demanding greater technical qualifications from men. I have had cases where upon demand for dowry, the girls told the guys they would send their salaries to their parents because they are equally qualified and they are doing well."

Software guys always seek for brides with a computer-related educational background, and in such cases, generally there is no dowry. But, if the girl is from some other background, then dowry does exist, but the rates are much lower than about a year ago.

"The preference for a techie still exists. But, why NRIs are losing out to their Indian counterparts is because of the waiting time, which the bride's family is not willing to buy. The NRI techie comes on a holiday, checks out a few matches and returns to the US by the time parents figure out how much dowry they want, by which time the brides have hopped on to another alliance. They generally go for an Indian as he is more accessible. So, the NRI techies gets married in the next trip for lesser or no dowry at all," says Mr Reddy.

Earlier, dowries otherwise used to touch anywhere between Rs 50 to 60 lakhs besides property of a crore or two. This is particularly relevant among Kammas, Kapus, Reddys, Gouds, and some other castes.

"The Kammas have no upper limit when it comes to dowry. They are the highest dowry seekers in the country. Even a simple graduate employed in the government demands not less than Rs 10 lakhs. As far as US techies are concerned, it can touch even Rs three crores, besides the marriage expenses, plus 5 per cent of dowry for the groom's sisters," says Mr Nageshwar Rao of Saptapadi Kamma marriage bureau.

But they have come down by 70 percent now. Also, 50 per cent of NRI matches are on the bench, says Mr Reddy, adding: "But, the guys can't have both qualified girl and dowry as well."

Agrees Mr Rao. "The mania has come down. 10 percent of them marry without dowry. But the rest 90 percent have lowered their rates. The number of brides per groom have also reduced. Earlier, there were 20 matches for one groom, now we can refer hardly two or three. Girls cases move faster because they have a choice."

But, some marriage bureaux argue that the demand for a techie in the US can never go down. "I am matchmaking for the past 23 years, but NRI matches are still a craze. Where the the techie grooms here?" asks Mr Chiranjeevi of Kaakateeya Marriage Bureau.